In various terms in various posts on various blogs, I’ve written about my Abby Angst. What is Abby Angst? Well, Abby Angst is the internal monologue which has been running on constant loop in my mind for the past couple years. You see, there was a time when I had no intention of becoming an author of Christian fiction. It wasn’t that it was something I was avoiding. It was something which never occurred to me. I was, after all, only an author at all because of the Abigail Phelps Series, and the Abigail Phelps Series is not Christian fiction. Not Christian romance, not Christian worldview.
They’re also not horrible, tawdry books, lest you get the wrong idea. I’ve always said that I would rate them PG-13, though realistically they are more of an edgy PG. We’re talking primetime network, not late night or cable.
So why the angst?
Well, the angst stems from the fact that in the time since I wrote the Abigail Phelps Series, the Lord has made it clear to me that I am now a writer of Christian fiction. That’s not to say that everything I ever write, ever again, will be for the Christian market. I don’t know. We’ll see. But I am a writer of Christian fiction. And as a writer of Christian fiction, I can’t help but wonder if someone will read an overtly Christian novel I’ve written, such as the one which will be published by Revell late next year, and then want to read my other novels. And maybe they’ll stumble across the Abigail Phelps Series, expecting Christian romance, and be surprised. Maybe even disappointed. If they don’t like the book, that’s okay. After all, not everyone will like everything I write. But what if they lose their faith in me as a writer of Christian fiction? Of truth and light and inspiration?
See? Abby Angst.
But here’s the thing: if not for the Abigail Phelps Series, I wouldn’t be writing Christian fiction, or anything at all. I was a banker, not an author. I had no writing aspirations at all until I fell in love with the world I created for Abigail. Once I created that world, and once I shared what I had written, everything changed. Because of the Abigail Phelps Series, I listened when I began to detect the still small voice of the Lord telling me to step out in faith and leave my job. Because of the Abigail Phelps Series, I walked through doors which wouldn’t have otherwise been open and met people I wouldn’t have otherwise met and developed skills I wouldn’t have otherwise developed.
And now I’m a writer of Christian fiction. I have an agent and a publisher and a book deal. And maybe it will never go any further, but so what? Before the Abigail Phelps Series I was just the bank vice president who was asked to use her better-than-your-average-banker writing skills to proofread staff memos and write policies.
So I’m done with Abby Angst. At least I’m trying to be. Instead, I choose to be thankful. I’ve Loved These Days, Book One of the Abigail Phelps Series, is a free Kindle download this week. I’d love for you to check it out, if you want to. I’m pretty proud of it, actually.
And the fact of the matter is I wouldn’t be here without it.